Muddling Through...

As difficult as this is for me to admit, I am feeling stuck in this weight loss journey. I re-read my previous posts and I wonder where have all of my optimism and drive gone? I have started deviating from my exercise plan and from my eating plan. Don't get me wrong, I am by no means back to my old ways. But I am far enough off of my path to start getting concerned.

Ever since the holidays, I feel like I have been in a constant state of transition. I had six weeks off from work, I was fasting, I had a major exam to complete, a new semester started so my teaching schedule changed, we had two major blizzards that left us trapped in the house for a week...I could go on and on. With so much going on around me, I have not been able to be as consistent as I want and need to be. The lack of consistency has led to a slow down in my weight loss. The slow down in my weight loss has lead to a lack of motivation. So here I am trying to pick up the pieces.

I was discussing all of this with my doctor last week and he suggested that I reduce my calories even more and workout more intensely. I just wanted to cry! I am so tired of this constant battle with my weight. Lately, I have been feeling like this is all so pointless. I am having a hard time remembering why I even wanted to do this in the first place. I am having a hard time visualizing what all this time and effort will afford me. I am trying hard to reconnect with my passion for this and I am truly struggling.

Perhaps this is just a rough patch like so many other times in my life. I can remember wanting to quit college and look at me now. I remember wanting to give up on my dream of homeownership and look at me know. So I am going to keep pressing although I feel like I am only going through the motions. I believe that my motivation will eventually come back and my passion will eventually be reignited. Before I know it, I am sure I will be back on my weigh! Until then, I will just keep at it...