Running Along...

I have been running for over a month and I am making great progress. I am now at the point where I can run two miles non-stop. This is a huge leap from a few posts ago when I could only run .10 miles before having to take a walking break. How on earth do I manage to do this, you ask? Well here are my secrets:

Lifestyle Changes--if you have been following my blog, you will recall that I started this journey back in July 2009. I did not go on any fad diets or start any fancy exercise plans. I simply made drastic, yet sustainable lifestyle changes. I have reduced my caloric intake to about 1200-1400 per day and I exercise regularly. These changes are the foundation for my running.

Read, Read, Read--one of the most important things I do is read about running. I found a great website, active.com, that has tons of information on any aspect of running that you could think of. The saying that "knowledge is power" is spot on in my case. Advancing my knowledge of running has contributed greatly to my growth as a runner.

Practice Pacing--at this point in my running journey, I am most concerned about distance. I simply want to be able to run the entire 5K in September. Speed is much less of an issue for me right now. I realized that I failed at my previous attempts to run because I was running too fast! Now when I run, I focus on pacing myself so that I can complete my run. I have found a pace that challenges me but doesn't defeat me. I am currently able to do a 15-minute mile--not bad for a beginner!

Relax, Relate, Release--I allow myself to rest! I only run on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday mornings. This gives me plenty of rest days in between. During my rest days, I still do some form of exercising. I just don't run on those days. Eventually, I would like to increase my running days but I will have to work up to that point.

As you can see, I am well on my weigh and I hope that your are too!

Thanks...But No Spanx

About a year ago I was introduced to Spanx and it revolutionized my life. I could put on an outfit that was a little too snug, then put on my Spanx and look stunning in that same outfit. For those of you who have joined the Spanx revolution, you are very familiar with the magic I just described. Spanx has a way of taking the inches off, smoothing out the bulges and keeping the jiggles to a minimum. The best part about Spanx is that, unlike traditional girdles, they do all this without making you feel like you have a giant rubber band wrapped around your body. Needless to say, my Spanx has become the staple of my wardrobe.

Imagine my surprise on Easter Sunday when I put on my outfit and didn't need the Spanx! You see, this is an outfit that I purchased several years ago when I was a much smaller me. But even then, I needed a girdle to feel comfortable in it. The outfit I am referring to is a tricky one because it is a bias-cut, linen skirt with a side-zipper. The zipper alone is difficult enough. I don't know what it is about side-zippers but they always seem to cause trouble! To add in linen, which is an unforgiving fabric that has no elasticity whatsoever, adds insult to injury. But the bias-cut...that is a recipe for disaster for anyone who wears larger than a size 5 and has even a little "junk in their trunk". So, to be able to pull off that outfit without a Spanx is truly a miracle!

Well, I am a witness that miracles still happen! What I realized from this experience is that I am doing this thing! I am making huge progress in my weight loss journey! So when I get discouraged and tired on my weigh, I will simply recall this past Easter when I was finally able to say, "thanks...but no Spanxs!"

Running Until I'm Tired...

Spring is here and I am once again feeling inspired! The past few months of this weight loss journey were very difficult. It all felt so mundane, monotonous and down-right pointless at times. I was persistent but not without great struggle. Nevertheless, I have found fresh inspiration and I am once again going hard and going strong!

I did my second 5K last weekend and I decided that would be the kick-off of my working more intently to become a runner. If you recall, in my New Year's post, I stated that one of my goals for this year is to add running into my weekly exercise routine. I ran my first mile back in January but did not continue with it until this week. It is amazing that in such a short time, I am actually able to run more than 15 seconds without feeling like I am going to die. I am not even close to where I want to be, but I am taking it step by step.

My long-term goal is to be able to run the entire 5K in September. This is a huge leap so I decided that I will devote this next six months to training. I have done a lot of reading on running and I have found a very manageable training plan. The best advice for beginning runners that I have come across is to "walk until you're bored and to run until you're tired". I am not sure why but when I read this advice, something in my head clicked. My dream of becoming a runner somehow became so much more feasible.

So that is what I have been doing for the past few days--walking until I am bored and running until I am tired. At this point, I walk .10 miles and run .10 miles. until I complete a mile. I usually continue power-walking for an additional mile. My goal is increase the distance that I run and decrease the walking. I will do this until I am able to run a complete 5K. At that point, I will set an even greater goal.

Having this goal of becoming a runner has put purpose back into my workouts and weight loss efforts. I feel so driven and excited to continue this amazing journey. Perhaps you are looking for fresh inspiration this spring. I would encourage you to think about your goal and find a way to work intently towards it. I guarantee that once you do, you will find yourself like me...back on my weigh!

A Proud Feeling

When I wrote my last post I was feeling unmotivated and disappointed with my weight loss journey. Like I committed to in that post, I stuck with my eating and exercise plan even though I was not feeling it. As my doctor instructed me, I reduced my calories to 1200 per day and I have intensified my workouts. The first week was difficult! I was hungry, tired and down right cranky! But, I did it...I pushed myself despite my wanting to give up. I wrote in a post a while back that persistence is better than perfection. My journey to lose weight has not gone as perfectly as I imagined but I am proud that I continue to be persistent on my weigh.

Muddling Through...

As difficult as this is for me to admit, I am feeling stuck in this weight loss journey. I re-read my previous posts and I wonder where have all of my optimism and drive gone? I have started deviating from my exercise plan and from my eating plan. Don't get me wrong, I am by no means back to my old ways. But I am far enough off of my path to start getting concerned.

Ever since the holidays, I feel like I have been in a constant state of transition. I had six weeks off from work, I was fasting, I had a major exam to complete, a new semester started so my teaching schedule changed, we had two major blizzards that left us trapped in the house for a week...I could go on and on. With so much going on around me, I have not been able to be as consistent as I want and need to be. The lack of consistency has led to a slow down in my weight loss. The slow down in my weight loss has lead to a lack of motivation. So here I am trying to pick up the pieces.

I was discussing all of this with my doctor last week and he suggested that I reduce my calories even more and workout more intensely. I just wanted to cry! I am so tired of this constant battle with my weight. Lately, I have been feeling like this is all so pointless. I am having a hard time remembering why I even wanted to do this in the first place. I am having a hard time visualizing what all this time and effort will afford me. I am trying hard to reconnect with my passion for this and I am truly struggling.

Perhaps this is just a rough patch like so many other times in my life. I can remember wanting to quit college and look at me now. I remember wanting to give up on my dream of homeownership and look at me know. So I am going to keep pressing although I feel like I am only going through the motions. I believe that my motivation will eventually come back and my passion will eventually be reignited. Before I know it, I am sure I will be back on my weigh! Until then, I will just keep at it...

Keeping It All In Perspective

Last year Hubby and I decided to start the year with a 21-day fast. We were so blessed by it that we have committed to making it an annual tradition. So yes, this year we did it again.. January 10th -31st was a time dedicated to seeking God through prayer and fasting. As difficult as it was, I was so sad when it was over. There was something truly magical about spending the time that I would usually be eating in the presence of God. With each hunger pain that I felt, I pushed harder spiritually. During those three weeks, I was not bombarded with the usual cares of life. It was one of the few times in my life when my weight was not at the forefront of my mind. I felt so free. It was as if I had transcended to a new level where I was totally at peace and my faith in God was the only driving force in my life. For those three weeks, everything seemed to be in it's proper place...I was able to keep everything in perspective.

As the fast came to an end, the cares of life started creeping back into my mind. I was concerned with eating, exercising and having enough time to meet all of my obligations. It was all so overwhelming and I started to feel mentally out of control. It was as if I was losing perspective. I immediately realized that the same peace that I had during the fast is always available to me. I realized that God had not left me simply because I was back to my usual eating plan. I realized that His presence and the benefits that come along with it are just a prayer away. I realized that whenever I feel bogged down by the cares of life I can simply cast them all on Him.

My weight is one care that I have a hard time casting. I trust God for so many things but I often feel like my weight is all on me to handle. I am not sure why I can put everything else in perspective except my weight. So as I move forward on my weigh, I am making the decision to be intentional about seeking God's wisdom and direction through this journey. I realize that like everything else in my life, I will fail at losing weight if I do not have Him to lead the way. So with this post, I am giving my weight loss journey over to Him. I am asking Him to help me keep it all in perspective.

Me Against Myself

As I mentioned in my last post, one of my goals this year is to start running. I have always wanted to be the person who runs for exercise but I have always felt that I couldn't do it. Well, I am throwing those thoughts aside and I am giving it my best shot.

I took my first 1-mile run yesterday and it was hard. I felt like I was going to die! My chest hurt, my legs felt like cement and my head was spinning. I had to take short, walking breaks between laps and I felt like I would not be able to finish. I wanted so bad to give up. "What's the point?", I thought myself. "No one will think any less of me if I don't run. There are plenty of people who don't run". I wondered, "why on earth am I putting myself through this?"

For me running is the ultimate physical challenge (aside from pregnancy and childbirth, of course). For me running is a total contradiction of all I have ever believed about my physical abilities. I have never seen myself as the athletic or physically-fit type. This self-perception has been the biggest hurdle in my journey to lose weight. Feeling physically inadequate has kept me from living a more active life for way too long!

So, with each step I ran yesterday, I had to confront some of my innermost insecurities. It was truly me against myself. Yes, the physical pain of running was difficult to push past. But the mental and emotional pain of letting go of a self-perception that I have held all of my life was almost unbearable!

I realize that the only way that I am going to reach my weight loss goal is if I tackle this issue from the inside out. I have to confront and clean out all of the mental and emotional baggage that has kept me at this physical place. I realize that my weight is in so many ways nothing more than a manifestation of the myths I have about my physical abilities.

So, I ran step by step until I completed a mile. When I was done, I cried. I literally sat on a bench and sobbed. My tears were about so much more than feeling physically drained. I was so overwhelmed by the fact that I actually completed the run. I had taken a major step in moving forward to a new way of seeing myself. I had conquered the unconquerable! This experience has major implications for me as I progress on my weigh. I still have a long race ahead but if I run it one step at a time, there is nothing that I won't be able to accomplish!

Special thanks to my dear friend Kaye for supporting me in this journey. I have been so inspired by her development and persistence as a runner.